


the days we've been waiting for

by juliansweigl



Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: M/M, another headcanon!, friendship based, the focus is on Manu and Benni
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 19:27:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18610972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juliansweigl/pseuds/juliansweigl
Summary: “No, you fucking shouldn’t, Neuer.” Bene bites. “I wasn’t happy about it but nobody was, losing you to Bayern? On a professional term, it was shit because you were so good for us but on a friendship-” Bene makes sure to put the emphasis on the word. “- level, I was losing my best friend..."





	the days we've been waiting for

**Author's Note:**

  * For [meggiewrites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/meggiewrites/gifts).



> hello, hi, i'm back (again, I know) and I have another shared headcanon! I also really rambled for over 6,500 words... madness! 
> 
> (as usual, special thanks to Meggie for not only helping me but also, this headcanon is a FAVOURITE and god, just thank you for putting up with my constant complaining about my writing and I hope you enjoy this gift of our boys ♡)

The first international break after the World Cup win, a European qualifier to play - this time at home to Scotland in Dortmund.

 

Bene’s eyes catch the back of Manu’s head in passing as he enters the hotel, only to be wrapped up in a hug from behind; feeling the familiar feeling of lips subtly pressed against his neck and Mats’ cologne that causes Bene to feel weak at the knees. Spinning around, Mats’ arms fall from around Bene’s shoulders but he’s still grinning brightly as Marco walks past and slaps the both of them on the shoulder before chasing down Mario in the lobby.

 

“I missed you.”

 

Bene resists the urge to roll his eyes, he’s missed Mats too, of course he has, but he’s acting as though this is the first time they’ve seen each other in weeks instead of waking up in each other’s arms _this_ morning. Still, it warms Bene’s heart and he can’t help the pathetic lovesick grin that twitches at the corner of his lips.

 

He hears a familiar laugh from behind him and despite himself, Bene turns just in time to catch Manu shaking his head, grinning at whatever Thomas is telling him as they head towards the row of lifts to the left. Bene sighs and turns back to Mats who is distracted but he glances down to his boyfriend- ( _fiancé_ ) and smiles once more.

 

“Roommates? _Unofficially_.” He suggests with a slight smirk.

 

This time Bene does roll his eyes but he finds himself agreeing nevertheless. He finds himself doing that a lot, though, Bene would probably walk through hot coals if Mats asked him to.

 

***

 

Surprisingly, Manu is already down at breakfast the next morning, it’s early and aside from him, Sami and Mesut - the latter two deep in conversation with the keeper, the room is empty and Bene slumps down in the nearest chair to him, rubbing his hands over his face and cursing the early shrill alarm from Mats’ phone before the crack of dawn for him to sneak back to his own room. Bene is barely able to keep his eyes awake by the time Mats sits down beside him and pushes the cup of coffee towards him - a gesture that’s responded with Bene kissing Mats’ cheek. They don’t hide, not anymore, everybody already assumes something is going on anyway and it’s mainly the guys from the 09’ U21 team that know officially anyway - the same team that includes the blond keeper who is glancing over at them from across the room.

 

Out of the corner of his eye Bene can see him watching them and he tries to ignore it, to focus on Mats’ sleep-ridden rambles as he drinks his coffee. The second that Bene’s resolve melts and he turns to face him - Manu is looking away and focusing on the wall opposite.

 

“Wait, what? You punched Marco?” Bene interjects, eyes growing wide.

 

“I _slapped_ Marco and it was with my training jersey and he asked for it.” Mats clarifies, undeterred by the fact he realises now that Bene has been ignoring everything he’s been saying.

 

“ _Right_ …” Bene trails off, frowning as he glances back over to the table nearest the door but finds his former best friend’s attention on Thomas who is leaning over his shoulder and talking to him quietly. “I’ll never understand you two.” Bene says but he’s unsure as to whether he’s referring to Mats and Marco or Manu and Thomas and at this point, he isn’t entirely certain he wants to know.

 

***

 

It’s driving him fucking insane.

 

Over the last few days he’s tried to ignore it, focus on training, focus on the qualifier, _try_ to focus on Mats’ ramblings about their wedding in June - to which Bene finds himself absentmindedly reaching for the chain around his neck and holding the engagement ring between his thumb and forefinger but he just can’t. More often than not he’s thinking about Manu, thinking about how he really _thought_ something had changed in their strained friendship back in Brazil - during the celebrations.

 

Emotions ran high for days and nights; nobody can deny that - drinking, singing, Julian Draxler nearly falling off a balcony. Bene remembers the night through a haze, he’d been looking for Mats having lost his boyfriend somewhere between Mario Götze attempting to do nineteen shots and Thomas and Bastian dancing on a table, arms tangled together as beer spilt and flew across the room. He remembers seeing Manu with Kevin Großkreutz, he remembers that was the moment just before Drax dragged Matze and Erik outside towards the balcony but most of all he remembers the _look_ Manu sent him from across the room. An unreadable glimmer, a look of regret?

 

Bene can’t remember what exactly beckoned him towards his old best friend, perhaps he was drunker than he remembers ( _more than likely_ , the hangover the following morning _almost_ had him regretting winning the damned thing to start with). Bene remembers stumbling literally and figuratively as he came up with something coherent to say to Manu but instead it was the keeper himself who flung himself at Bene and hugged him.

 

In hindsight, Bene should have realised that the moment stemmed solely from the fact that Manu was essentially two drinks from blacking out completely but still, something, _something_ pulled at the last threads of hope that they could salvage something that quite honestly turned to smoke with the announcement of Manu’s transfer to Bayern.

 

“Benni!” Mats’ call has Bene snapping back to reality with a jolt, not good for the headache that’s beginning to form.

 

“What?” Bene bites back, wincing just sends later when Mats’ face falls. “ _Sorry_.” He apologises half-heartedly, lifting a hand to rub at his temples to try and soothe the pain.

 

“If you want me to leave you can just say so.” Mats shrugs, trying to keep the tone of hurt and rejection from seeping into his voice.

 

“I, I just have a headache.” Bene mumbles, closing his eyes and leaning back against the wall.

 

Seconds later, Bene feels lips against his cheek as Mats murmurs a quick “love you. I’ll go and annoy Marco for a bit.” before he leaves and Bene can feel himself succumbing to sleep, not even feeling the slightest sense of remorse for kicking Mats out without actually telling him to leave.

 

***

 

“You’re such an idiot.” Bene comments when Mats slips and lands on the pitch, the ball rolling a good six metres away from them.

 

Mats just throws himself back and glances up at Bene with a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “You love me.”

 

Bene hums. “You’d think that.”

 

“You’re marrying me.” Mats reminds him. “You must love me.” He smirks, thinking he’s won.

 

Bene knows how to one up that one though, smirking himself. “I’m only in it for the money - which you make more of by the way, why else would I marry you?”

 

Bene regrets turning away at that moment, missing the look of outrage that covers Mats’ face as he walks off to the sidelines to go and grab a bottle of water. Bene grabs a bottle before turning around and finding Manu staring over in the direction of the sidelines, in _his_ direction. He’s standing off to the side of the goal, resting against the goalpost and for a split second - Bene thinks Thomas is behind him but then he hears his familiar shrill cackle coming from the pitch where he has _somehow_ just managed to nutmeg Mesut.

 

Something unintelligible twists in Bene’s stomach when he realises that Manu is looking at him, it’s replaced pretty quickly by annoyance, he’s sick of the looks - if Manu wants to say something to him then he needs to just fucking say it.

 

Throwing the bottle back to the ground, Bene ignores it and jogs back onto the pitch, retrieving the ball and passing it to Mats who has pulled himself up.

 

“Okay?”

 

“Sure, why wouldn’t I be?” Bene asks, smiling but unable to stop himself from glancing back over towards the keepers - Manu back in goal and being put through his paces.

 

***

 

By Friday it all gets too much; they’re playing Scotland on Sunday and Bene has had enough of waiting to see if Manu stops staring at him whenever they’re in the same room, it’s plaguing his sleep and Mats has _definitely_ began to notice that something is playing on his mind and Bene knows he needs to sort it out before Mats assumes it’s something as stupid as Bene having second thoughts about marrying him.

 

Bene had cornered Boa on the way downstairs and asked him if he’d seen their keeper - Boa pointing him in the direction of a hallway but adding a shrug and a ‘ _that’s all I know. Saw him before, looked angry_.’

 

 _Brilliant_. Bene tries to remember what it was like back when they were at Schalke together and how Manu’s anger sometimes resulted in him just admitting to having something on his mind, maybe this could work out in his favour - either that or Bene is going to make him talk regardless. Weaving down the hallway, it’s not until he reaches the last couple of rooms does he spy a familiar mop of blond hair. Manu is sitting on a chair in the middle of the room, staring down at his phone - more than likely to give his hands something to do, another quirk that Bene remembers after pushing them all to the back of his mind.

 

Bene corners Manu, arm stretched out across the doorway as he stares at his former best friend, a stern expression on his face and his lips pressed into a thin line. He doesn’t know how to start this, he knows that Manu is aware of his presence so he just jumps in with the first thing he can think of;

 

“Don’t you think this has gone on long enough?” He asks Manu.

 

Manu shakes his head, dropping his gaze to the floor guiltily and sighing deeply.

 

“Manu. You pushed me away.” Bene deadpans, still watching the way Manu keeps his head down and gaze firmly set to the ghastly carpeted floor of the hotel. “I was, I am, I’m supposed to be one of your best friends and you pushed me aside as though I was barely a part of your life.”

 

“I know!” Manu bellows, snapping his head up and staring at Bene with an indistinguishable look on his face. “I pushed you away - don’t you think I don’t know that?! Don’t you think I don’t regret it?!”

 

Bene falters, his arm slipping back to his side as he watches Manu carefully, swallowing thickly, feeling his throat tighten at the sudden outburst. The words. The words he hoped but hadn’t expected to hear.

 

“... You regret it?” Bene asks, he needs to be sure.

 

“Jesus Christ, Benni!” Manu exclaims in bewilderment. “Do you really think I wanted you out of my life?”

 

Bene shrugs. It seemed like that. It still seems like that. How is he supposed to know what Manu’s thinking these days, they haven’t exchanged more than a handful of words in the last three or so years.

 

“Well, did you?” Bene asks, regaining his composure and leaning against the doorframe, eyebrows raised as he watches Manu scoff.

 

Manu sets his jaw and the pair just stare at each other for a few moments, all that can be heard is the familiar noises, clattering and chatter that you find in a hotel as Manu shakes his head, dropping his eyes to the floor once more.

 

“Of course I didn’t, it was just… easier.” Manu admits, his voice falling to barely above a whisper.

 

 _Easier_. Bene wants to fucking scream but he doesn’t, he just stays where he is and waits uncomfortably to hear more.

 

“It was easier to just leave _all_ of it behind. They all hated me anyway.” Manu sniffles, wringing his hands together and staring down at his sneakers.

 

“ _All_ ?” Bene finally finds his voice again. “All? You’re including _me_ in that, I assume.”

 

“Shouldn’t I?” Manu tests, lifting his gaze and watching the way Bene’s expression shifts into something completely indecipherable.

 

“No, you fucking shouldn’t, Neuer.” Bene bites. “I wasn’t happy about it but _nobody_ was, losing you to Bayern? On a professional term, it was shit because you were so good for us but on a _friendship-_ ” Bene makes sure to put the emphasis on the word. “- level, I was losing my best friend and you just let it happen. You just left for Munich and now we’re here, barely speaking, Jesus Christ, I know nothing about you anymore!” Bene cries out, trying to prove his point but all it does is cause Manu to flinch.

 

The words resonate around the room. Resonate with Manu and Bene tries to calm his heavy breathing before he says something beyond the realms of stupidity.

 

Manu scratches at his wrist, keeping his gaze locked firmly on the floor. Bene waits, slumping against the doorframe and emitting a small sigh, pressing his thumbs against his temples to try and numb the headache that’s starting to build. Manu glances up and notices the obvious tension on Bene’s face and swallows thickly,

 

“I tried to call you, a few times actually. I just couldn’t bring myself to actually do it, I never wanted this, Benni.”

 

Bene doesn’t say anything. Manu continues,

 

“I thought I just needed some time to get over the transfer, to let things calm down, to not be the biggest story but I was still the biggest fucking story!” Manu exclaims, “I was constantly being talked about, being watched, being judged and hated by my _old fans._ People who loved me a month before-”

 

“- Yes, I know! They hated you, _I know,_ but I never hated you. I never once judged you for leaving. I tried to make you see that but you… you just ignored me.” Bene’s voice falters and he laughs a sad, emotionless laugh as he crosses his arms over his chest.

 

Manu gnaws on his lip, pressing his nails into his palms.

 

“I tried, Manu, I really, really tried.” Bene sighs, “I’m sorry.”

 

Manu gnaws harder. Bene hesitates before he turns and walks away, down the hallway, he’s said what he can.

 

***

 

“Where have you been?” Mats asks, sliding up beside Bene as he’s walking towards the stairs,

 

“Nowhere.” Bene answers shortly, not even sparing Mats a glance as he starts to ascend the stairs,

 

“Benni?” Mats calls out, twisting his arm and grabbing Bene’s sleeve, stopping him and pulling him so that they’re face to face. “Why won’t you talk to me?”

 

Mats looks crestfallen, Bene closes his eyes and feels the sigh rising in his throat before he snaps his eyes open again and watches Mats,

 

“I am talking to you.” He offers in response, knowing full well that Mats is about to scoff at him for the bullshit reply,

 

“Babe-”

 

Bene can feel his resolve melting and part of him wants to stamp his foot like a child but he just drops until he’s sitting on the stairs and able to look up at Mats, a frown twitching at the corners of his lips as Mats watches him carefully, almost scared to learn of what has been getting him so down lately.

 

“Honey, you need to just let it go - Manu-” Bene stops talking the second that Manu’s name slips from his lips, his eyes widening as Mats narrows his eyes and sets his lips into a scowl,

 

“What did he do now?!” Mats growls,

 

Bene sighs, wanting to facepalm at the undeniable anger in Mats’ voice, wincing when he realises he needs to come up with a random excuse and fast. “Nothing, nutmegged Boa in training today… apparently. I’m not sure I believe it though.”

 

Mats frowns but nods slowly. “Okay.” He shrugs as he moves to sit down on the stairs too, two steps down from Bene.

 

Mats looks like he’s struggling to say something and that in itself is enough for a burn of panic to hammer against Bene’s chest - Mats has never been one to hold back on saying anything, not to Bene, not since they have known each other. Tentatively, Bene lifts his hand and rests it at the base of his fiancé’s neck, brushing his fingers through Mats’ curls and feeling the tension slipping from his shoulders in the process.

 

“I feel like you’re hiding something from me.” Mats admits, so quietly that Bene nearly misses the words. “I don’t know what it is but you’ve been acting weird for days.”

 

“I haven’t!” Bene huffs,

 

Mats tilts his head back and Bene’s arm falls back to his side as he curls against the banister and avoids Mats’ eyes. It’s only when Bene meets Mats’ eyes does he notice just how exhausted he looks, the dark circles under his eyes and something unintelligible twists in Bene’s stomach,

 

“I’m sorry.” He mumbles for the second time that day, jumping up and jogging up the stairs - he just about misses Mats’ heaving sigh in response.

 

He slides the key into the door, shoves it open and let’s it slam shut behind him. Leaning against the door, Bene rubs his hands over his face and audibly groans at how messed up this international break is.

 

He doesn’t see Mats for the rest of the day and during dinner he sits with Marco and Mario and doesn’t glance in Bene’s direction once. Mats glares in Manu’s direction halfway through dinner and Bene deliberately stares at his plate, pretending he hasn’t noticed. It’s only when he glances up a good few minutes later to find Manu and Mats both looking in his direction does he remember that he’s wearing his engagement ring,

 

Mats is fighting back a smile but Manu just looks puzzled.

 

Bene leaves the dining room a few minutes later, he hears footsteps behind him but doesn’t look back. He keeps walking until he feels arms slipping around his waist, causing him to stumble forward until Mats’ cologne hits his nose and he lets out a relieved sigh.

 

“You’re wearing it.” Mats murmurs into Bene’s shoulder, poking at the ring,

 

“I am.” Bene replies nonchalantly, sliding his room key into the door and unlocking it. “I saw you glaring at him, Mats.”

 

The door shuts and Mats groans, crossing his arms over his chest defensively as he leans against the door. Bene raises his eyebrows but doesn’t say anything else, he just drops his phone to the table and waits for the inevitable moment Mats blows up and starts complaining. Bene waits and waits and it only takes a minute or so before Mats grumbles under his breath,

 

“Something’s going on between you two. He looks like he’s just seen his damn dog get run over and you’re acting defensive and hiding something.”

 

“Oh, will you just let it go?” Bene huffs, glaring, eyes harsh and his jaw set.

 

Mats shrugs, “fine.”

 

Bene winces, it’s anything but fine but he’s not in the mood to argue. Bene still falls asleep with his head on Mats’ shoulder and Mats’ arms wrapped around him but both of them can still feel the tension in the air around them.

 

It’s early. Can’t be later than six in the morning when the bed dips and Bene stirs at the feel, his arm automatically flying out from under the blankets and grasping at Mats’ wrist.

 

“Don’t go.” He mumbles into the pillow,

 

“I have to.” Mats replies and if Bene wasn’t so sleepy, he’d probably have frozen at the harshness to his fiancé’s voice. “I’m not risking getting caught.”

 

“Don’t. Go.” Bene repeats, “I’m sorry. I am. I _am._ ” He tries, sounding more awake this time.

 

“You going to tell me what’s going on?” Mats asks,

 

Bene doesn’t reply. Mats scoffs and tries to pull his wrist of Bene’s hand - Bene lets him go and doesn’t stop him from leaving.

 

***

 

Game day fast approaches but the tension between the trio doesn’t relent and it’s not until Thomas corners Bene after their final training session before they play Scotland does Bene realise that it’s getting beyond a joke.

 

“Tell me you’ve noticed there’s something wrong with your boyfriend?”

 

Bene blinks.

 

“Oh, _come on,_ he’s acting like… like…” Thomas snaps his fingers trying to come up with an accurate adjective to describe Mats, his basic language skills evading him as they stand in the middle of the tunnel.

 

“I know.” Bene cuts in, mainly to save himself from waiting until Christmas and Thomas finally thinks of a word to accurately describe Mats. “You’ll have to ask him.”

 

Bene takes a step and makes to move past Thomas but Thomas isn’t giving up that easily, he narrows his eyes and throws out an arm to essentially clothesline the defender. Bene cocks his left eyebrow but stays still, not making another movement. Out of the corner of his eye, Manu is hovering awkwardly at the door to the dressing room, twiddling his thumbs and trying to act like he’s not staring at Thomas and Bene. Thomas sighs and Bene takes that as his chance to turn on his heel and head into the dressing room, his shoulder hitting Manu’s a little harder than is completely necessary.

 

Mats slides into his usual seat beside Bene on the bus back, neither of them say anything to each other and Bene tries not to notice Thomas and Manu both scrutinising him for the entirety of the journey.

 

***

 

Rubbing his hands over his face, it’s cooler than it has been all day and Bene sighs, dropping down onto a bench and watching as the dark night overtakes the sky, the warm orange from the streetlights nearby illuminating the bushes and tops of cars. Bene twists the ring on his finger, and tries not to scoff at past days events, at how exhausted he is from trying to keep Mats from arguing with him everyday and Manu, trying to stop whatever Manu’s trying to get him to do in general.

 

He hears a crunch against a twig and some leaves and Bene tenses, snapping his head up and slowly turning around, he can’t exactly see who is there but from the build - he can has it a pretty good guess, so he just turns back around and starts twisting the ring again, mainly to give his hands something to do.

 

Manu appears in his peripheral vision and looks as tired as Bene feels, hands in his pockets as he tries to hold himself back from saying something. His gaze flickers to Bene’s hand and he frowns,

 

Bene tilts his head back. “What?”

 

Manu opens his mouth to reply but swiftly shakes his head, kicking at a piece of gravel instead.

 

“You came here to say something.” Bene pushes, curiosity getting the better of him,

 

“... Did you and Lisa get married?” Manu asks, so quietly that Bene almost doesn’t hear him over the sound of nearby traffic and general city noise.

 

Bene barely suppresses the laugh rising in his throat. Stopping himself when he notices that Manu is serious,

 

“The irony of this is lost on you, huh? We _really_ don’t know anything about each other, Manu.” Bene replies, cryptic as he is, twisting his ring once more.

 

Manu shifts uncomfortably. Bene sighs, inwardly cursing himself before he tilts his head back to look at Manu.

 

“It’s Mats.” Bene deadpans, “I’m marrying Mats.”

 

Something unintelligible flashes across Manu’s face and Bene can’t tear his gaze away, waiting for something, _any_ kind of reaction from his former best friend. Manu just presses his lips into a thin line though and he nods, swinging back and forth on his heels,

 

“I’m happy for you.” He finally admits, the words sounding somewhat forced and he doesn’t meet Bene’s eyes when he says them. “I’m happy for you both.”

 

Manu glances up for barely a second, Bene is scowling slightly.

 

“Yeah?” He tests, “are you?”

 

Manu looks bewildered and can only nod dumbly in response. “I can be happy for you without having an ulterior motive. I still c-” Manu frowns and doesn’t finish what he’s saying, curling in on himself.

 

Bene stands up and cautiously takes a step towards the keeper, he can feel his resolve melting but there’s still so much that’s been left unsaid, things that _need_ to be said if they’re both to be able to move past this, to regain something reflecting a friendship. Manu’s face turns harsher, a scowl twitching at the corners of his lips and Bene grinds his teeth, he’s seen this before,

 

“Don’t. Don’t do this, not _again._ ”

 

Manu straightens up and shrugs. “I don’t know what you want me to do.”

 

“I want you to admit that you made a mistake when you left.”

 

Manu’s eyes flicker over to the half-open door just a few metres away from them, watching it carefully before he turns back around and nods, a subtle shake of his head that Bene only catches from the way his hair flops underneath the lanterns outside the hotel.

 

“I did. I fucked up.” Manu accepts, feeling like he’s swallowed twenty razor blades in the process. “I shouldn’t have pushed you away when you were just trying to help.”

 

“It only took three years.” Bene chimes in reply, the smallest hint of a smile on his lips as he glances up at Manu, “better late than never.”

 

Manu manages a half-smirk in response, the tension seemingly slipping from his shoulders. Bene relaxes too, there’s a sound of a motorbike in the near distance and Bene glances down at his watch for a second, eyes widening when he realises what time it is.

 

“Am I keeping you?” Manu’s question cuts through the silence,

 

Bene snaps his head back up and shakes his head, opening his mouth to reply but shutting it just as quickly. “I - it’s just… Mats-”

 

Manu nods knowingly, looking rather amused before he nods towards the door, Bene makes a move to walk past when he abruptly stops and tilts his head to look at the keeper.

 

“You going to be okay?” He asks, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth,

 

“I’ll be fine, _I’m fine._ ” Manu promises,

 

Bene nods and awkwardly and let’s his hand fall atop of Manu’s shoulder for a second, half-smiling in his direction before slowly walking past and heading back into the hotel. Manu watches him go with a frown etched upon his lips, barely concealing the sigh that falls from his lips.

 

Bene reaches the fourth floor and readies himself to have an onslaught of questions thrown at him the second that he opens the door to Mats’ hotel room. Bene fumbles around in his pocket to try and find the keycard that Mats had not so subtly slipped into Bene’s pocket just before he left the dining room and in the midst of not knowing where it’s managed to disappear - the door swings open,

 

Mats stands in front of him, arms folded as Bene smiles sheepishly, dropping his arms back to his side.

 

“Hey-”

 

“What time do you call this?” Mats asks, raising his eyebrows,

 

“I got delayed.” Bene shrugs as though his whereabouts are of little concern. “Are you going to let me in or do you want me to go back to my own room-?”

 

Mats pulls Bene into the room by his hand and kicks the door shut with the back of his foot.

 

***

 

Game day arrives in Dortmund and with that, spirits around the team start to rise with it. Bene’s almost grateful for it when walking down to breakfast, Mats trips over his untied laces and nearly faceplants the wall in-between a conference room and the lift, rolling his eyes, Bene twists his fingers into Mats’ sleeve and hauls him into the dining room.

 

“What did you do now?” Marco asks, eyeing the way that Bene is essentially leading Mats to an empty chair as though he’s a small child.

 

Mats winks in response, Bene has _no_ idea why.

 

Mats flops into a chair with the rest of his Dortmund teammates (and Mario) and Bene slides into the empty seat beside him, busying himself with his phone to try and keep from looking to the door every five seconds to see when Manu arrives. His knees bounce and Bene stops trying to still them even if Mats sends him curious glances out of the corner of his eye, looking up from his conversation between Marco and Mario before focusing on Bene’s knee and not as subtly as Bene would like him to be, Mats drops his hand and squeezes his knee to stop it.

 

“What’s up?” He whispers, leaning in,

 

“Nothing.” Bene replies, twisting when he hears commotion from the corridor, only to be disappointed when it’s only Boa and Toni walking into the dining room.

 

“Sure, you sure you’re not waiting for _somebody?_ ” Mats inquires, a teasing undertone to his voice as his lips quirk upwards into a slight smirk.

 

Bene rolls his eyes. “I’m fi…” Bene trails off when he sees just who he’s been waiting for enter the dining room, trailing after Thomas,

 

Manu looks up, confused for a second until he notices that Bene is watching him from the corner of the dining room, from behind where Marco is throwing his arms up in the air and wagging his fork in Mats’ direction. Manu stops when Thomas stops, the former leaning down to say something to Christoph and Manu smiles tentatively in Bene’s direction,

 

Bene smiles back.

 

Mats jabs him in the ribs a few seconds later, asking him what he suddenly looks so happy about - Bene just shrugs, the smile still on his face. Mats rolls his eyes but doesn’t push him.

 

They beat Scotland 2-1, two goals from Thomas sealing the win for them in the qualifier and whilst Bene is walking back down towards the tunnel, he feels another presence stepping up beside him and falling into a rhythm.

 

“You’ve noticed it too, right?” Thomas asks him, “the sudden change in Mats and Manu? They look a shadow of how they were the other day.”

 

Bene nods, pulling at his jersey as they walk down the stairs and into the tunnel. “Do you know what changed?” Bene asks him, glancing up to Thomas for the briefest of seconds before dropping his gaze back down to the ground.

 

“Nah,” Thomas replies with a small shrug. “I saw Manu the other night, he looked… relieved but he didn’t tell me why and now Mats isn’t acting like a bitch. Weird.”

 

Bene stifles his laughter. “I can’t help you with Manu but… Mats…” He trails off, he just leaves it there and heads into the dressing room.

 

It takes Thomas a good thirty seconds.

 

***

 

Bene is swinging his phone between his thumb and forefinger as he slumps in the couch in the hotel reception, his bags are beside him and he glances down at his watch, sighing once more when he realises he left Mats to finish packing a good thirty minutes ago and he’s showing no signs of turning up anytime soon.

 

Most of the team have already left to head back to their clubs and Bene envies them, especially when his phone vibrates with a text from Mats a few seconds later asking Bene if he’s seen his cologne.

 

Bene throws his head back and narrowly misses hitting it against the wall behind the couch, tapping his fingers against his phone screen when he notices another figure hovering awkwardly in the lobby. Bene glances up, trying to school his annoyed expression - he’s annoyed at his fiancé, not Manu.

 

Manu is leaning against the wall opposite, deep in concentration and Bene wonders whether he’s actually aware of his presence yet or if he’s too lost in whatever is causing the frown on his face.

 

“You okay?”

 

Manu jumps, eyes widening in a comical sense of panic as he nods and nods again before pausing and shrugging and dropping his gaze to his suitcase.

 

“You sure?” Bene asks him, biting his tongue because he’s unsure whether they’re even at a place, they have barely spoken since the other night but it’s not for the want of trying but Mats has been occupying practically all of Bene’s spare time.

 

Manu gnaws on his lip and starts to close in on himself again, fighting against that inner turmoil that has Bene on edge, it’s unnerving but Bene can’t force himself to speak, he wouldn’t know what to say anyway. Bene swallows thickly when he thinks about a time when he used to be the first person that Manu came to when something was dragging him down, or he needed to just vent and Bene ignores the clenching in his chest at how far things have fallen since those days.

 

“Where’s Thomas?” Bene asks, he half-expected to see him by now considering him and Manu haven’t spent more than an hour apart for the entire international break.

 

“I think he said something about going to kill Mats.” Manu shrugs, smirking when he catches Bene’s eyes,

 

“So _that’s_ why he’s taking so long, huh?” Bene jokes, rolling his eyes at the thought of the two of them upstairs arguing instead of packing, also, the fact that he’s completely unsurprised by Manu’s words says a lot in itself.

 

Manu half-smiles before it fades and they fall back into silence.

 

Manu wrings his hands together before shoving them in his hoodie pockets and bouncing from foot to foot,

 

“Benni… I need - I want - I want to tell you something and-”

 

Manu stops, tilting his head back and looking up at the ceiling, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth as he pulls one hand out of his pocket and lifts it to brush through his hair, strands flopping over his forehead before he forces himself to focus on Bene,

 

“- I need to - I’m gay.”

 

Bene’s phone falls from his hand and hits the floor causing both men to flinch at the sound, Bene stares at Manu as though he’s suddenly sprouted three extra heads but Manu isn’t smiling, his face is contorted into a mixture of anxiety and minor regret. Bene blinks, the words sinking in-

 

“Wait… you’re being serious?!”

 

Manu immediately shushes him. Bene holds his hand up apologetically, his eyes comically wide at the confession. Bene furrows his eyebrows, rubbing a hand across his forehead, _holy shit._

 

“You’re definitely not kidding me, right?”

 

“Benni.” Manu grits,

 

Bene holds his hands up, shooting the keeper an apologetic look but his face betrays any signs that the newly laid out information has even begun to sink in, Bene looks positively dumbfounded.

 

Bene laughs at the sheer absurdity, “Jesus, we really _don’t_ know anything about each other anymore, huh?”

 

Manu cracks a small smile, nodding his head so slightly. “I suppose not.”

 

“I’m glad you to-”

 

Bene’s cut off by the sound of the lift door opening and Mats stumbling out, tripping over his suitcase as Thomas’ cackle follows, he’s grinning at Mats when the elder manages to regain his balance.

 

“Isn’t it bad enough that you ambushed me in _my room?_ ” Mats huffs, stalking over to where Bene is and scowling,

 

Bene drops a vaguely sympathetic hand atop of his and pretends to be on his fiance’s side of things for the sake of not causing an argument - though, he’s sure Thomas has every reason to be as indignant and amused as he is. Thomas slides up beside Manu and nudges the keeper,

 

Bene narrows his eyes when he catches a glimpse of the lopsided smile on Manu’s face, a strange sense of realisation begins to strike against his chest but before he can think too much of it - Mats is slapping his shoulder.

 

“Are you _even_ listening to me?” He asks, lips twisted into a frown as Bene nods, slowly, unconvincingly.

 

“Of course, of course I am, darling. _What did you say?_ ” Bene rushes out,

 

Mats stares at him. Thomas snorts from nearby and Bene reaches down to retrieve his phone.

 

“Nothing.” Mats mumbles, flipping Thomas off in the process before getting back to his feet, “I’ll get you back when we play your lot, Mull.”

 

Thomas, raising his eyebrows, just leans against the wall with an amused smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. “I’d like to see you try.”

 

Mats just rolls his eyes and turns to leave the hotel, stopping to turn back to Bene, “babe? You coming?”

 

Bene opens his mouth to reply before shaking his head. “I’ll be out in a second.”

 

Manu straightens up when he realises, ushering Thomas to go and hand the room keys back to reception as Bene strides towards the keeper, his arms hanging awkwardly at his sides, the words sit on the tip of his tongue but he doesn’t know how to articulate them in a way that isn’t going to essentially… spook Manu, it’s bad enough that he looked like he regretted coming out for the first few seconds, asking him about it might just make it ten times worse.

 

_Screw it._

 

“So…” Bene trails off, rocking back and forth on his heels as he tries to school his expression to hide how amused he feels. “Is there someone special?”

 

Manu rolls his eyes and Bene immediately relaxes. Manu lifts his head and goes to nod but instead he just shrugs but there’s something in his eyes, something knowing and he’s fighting back a small, nervous twitching of his lips - not a smile but something close, something that answers a question that Bene hasn’t asked yet. Manu tries to stop himself, he really does but his gaze flickers over to the desk at the reception where Thomas is happily chatting away to the girl sitting down about Bayern.

 

Bene smirks,

 

“I’m glad you told me, you know?”

 

Manu nods. “Yeah, yeah, I’m glad I did too.”

 

“Benni?!” Mats calls out, standing by the hotel door and waving his arm around, his watch face pointed in Bene’s direction,

 

Bene just rolls his eyes and reaches up to bring Manu into a hug, it’s short and quick but they can both feel the other relax - the tension falling from their shoulders before it ends and Bene stands back,

 

“It’s going to be okay, you know?” Bene tells him earnestly, first-hand experience coming in handy in a situation like this,

 

Manu nods. “Yeah,” he sighs solemnly, “I hope so.”

 

“Benni!”

 

“I’m going to kill him.” Bene mutters, “I’ll see you guys around!” Bene calls out,

 

Thomas waves and shouts back the same, Manu nods looking genuinely excited at the prospect. Bene smiles as he turns around, grabs his bags and leaves the hotel,

 

“I’m here, I’m here - why are you scowling?” Bene asks, jabbing Mats in the side.

 

Mats tears his eyes away from the hotel, still scowling but he shakes his head and slings his arm around Bene’s shoulders. “Nothing. Let’s go home.”

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr!](https://hoewedeshummels.tumblr.com)


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